Finding my true self – beyond dreams to a new reality
Using the curved balls life throws at us can be a positive sign things are about to change for the better. A story from me, the grave digger on how I found my true-self.
We all have dreams. Things we what to achieve. But often reality sets in. And we compromise. And slowly, for many of us, these dreams fade into the past.
Our true face never speaks.
Somewhere there must be a storehouse
where all our unlived selves are laid away
like suits of armour,
or clothes hanging limply on the walls.
Maybe all paths lead there –
to a repository of our unlived self’s.
Based on the Rilke Poem.
Finding My True Self
I wanted to be the next Brian Eno – a creative musician and life philosopher. I didn’t think about a career or a job. All I thought about was a life surrounded by artists & creative people who would stimulate my music making.
I had my first recording studio aged 14. By 18 I was working with members of some big named bands. My own music was coming together nicely. I was signed to a music consultancy in London who thought I was on the way up. I wasn’t interested in fame and fortune – just the music.
But, by my late-20’s it hadn’t happened. With marriage calling I had to make a living.
Where Next?
I bumped into a friend who was setting up a marketing agency. He wanted a partner who could create great ideas and sell them to big brands. I didn’t have to a wear a suit and our ideas were cool. I was in.
To cut a long story short, I was good at this. And I rose to run a sizable agency, becoming CEO over the next 10 years.
But then reality hit me again. I started to hate the marketing agency world. Cool ideas were losing out to the California Tech Giants.
On top of this my wife filed for divorce out of the blue.
It all hit me hard.
I felt there must be a new way forward. So, what next?
I’m a runner. Whilst out on a run I bumped into a grave digger in a local church yard. He was built like a god physically and we started talking about fitness. I picked up a spade and started to help. It was fun.
Over the next 3 years whilst going through my divorce and in between marketing commitments, I helped with the graves.
I started to learn that natural burials were becoming popular – for example – we dug the graves at a natural burial site near Glastonbury, Somerset, England – a place with beautiful views – for people from all religions and spiritual callings.
At burials I found myself listening to people who came over to the grave whilst I was working – we started to talk about life and it it’s purpose – it’s amazing how becoming a grave digger brought me so close to the life force.
A Way Forward
Post my divorce I purchased a barge. I called her the ‘Sanctuary’ and placed her on the Kennet & Avon Canal in Wiltshire, UK overlooking the White Horse at Alton Barnes near to Avebury.
I then starting to ask around to find the best local grave digger in the area – the one who did all the magical burials around Wiltshire, Somerset and the Cotswolds.
And that’s how I met Andy – the best GraveDigger in the business who had 37 years of experience and a heart of gold – he wouldn’t even crush one ladybird whilst digging a grave but he’s as strong as an ox.
I also met in the very same month the love of my life – my partner Ali – synchronicity, the life force. Whatever you call it – I could see it.
That brings me to the present. As well as doing natural burials across Wiltshire, Somerset and the Cotswolds – we are currently buying land to set up ‘Soil & Stars’ – a place celebrating the circle of life – from birth, life and death. We will hold events for fellow travellers on their path through this life.
I’ve also started to write music again – music from my heart. With not even a thought for commercial recognition.
The Curved Ball
My life has turned a few corners – from musician to CEO to Grave Digger.
I’ve never been happier.
Is Your Unlived Self calling out to you?
When I left the music industry for advertising my life changed. For more than a decade I built a professional life – a big house in country, new cars & holidays. A lifestyle many would think was the dream come true. To everyone else my life looked great. But I was suffering inside. I felt trapped and could see my true self slipping away. I realised I had to change but that I would be exposed and vulnerable. But I knew I had to go for it. I had to find my best self.
A curved ball was the answer!
Meeting a grave digger and finding out about natural burials changed my life forever. How strange is that? But looking back I can see how it took me forward. It’s given me the ability to help people move on from this life via our burial services, I help others find and live their unlived self through 1:1 sessions and my podcasts and I write music from the heart again – my unlivedself is now truly alive.
The Unravelling
Unwind your life to date. And then ask – what are you here to do?
Listen to Mary Oliver –
‘What are you going to do with your precious life’
Stop fighting uncertainty and trust the natural flow of life and your part to play within it.
Ways Ahead.
I think the world shows us all different ways of moving forward – but our minds have to be open to see these new ideas coming. Can you imagine doing something different? Something amazing? Something whose time has come to be born? There are many unlived lives out there waiting to be brought into the world. Hear them in the river of life – be interested in things that seem to make no sense, do not judge things too quickly, allow your mind to open up.
Remember – it’s your view of the world and your interpretation of it that finds unique interesting ideas. Allow these faculties to expand. Look where you’ve never looked before for answers.
Afterall, a random conversation with a gravedigger changed my life forever. A new reality unfolded.
Where is your unlived life going to take you?
Love & Light,
David
The Practical, Spiritual, Musical GraveDigger.
PS. Finding your unlived self.
I write online because I made the journey from CEO to Natural Burials and enjoy sharing my adventures. I’m now more alive than I’ve ever been. It’s been an amazing journey – ups and downs, divorce, finding the love of my life and a career to – well, die-for!
Join my newsletter today and I’ll send you my ‘finding-your-unlived-self’ a short guide to starting along your unlived path – a journey to your authentic, real self.
